My new theme

Everything is going to be alright...
Maybe not today but eventually!!!!!

Where has this year gone?

Wow I can't believe that it has been so long since I posted here.  A lot has happened this year.  I have had 2 illnesses that have wiped me out.  In August (my birthday to be exact!) I came down with Bells Palsy and boy did it throw me for a loop.  I teased that I looked like sloth from Goonies, I know a lot of my family and especially Dwayne would get so mad at me but in all honesty I felt like him.  I don't think of myself as vain, however, I hated being in public and could have stayed in my room if Johns would have let me.

In March I got sick then too and had to go through a lot of testing to figure out what was wrong.  They never found anything but they were able to treat me - sorry my blog is not the place to go into detail about this part of my life.  I felt as though so far this year I had been given a lot more than I could handle.

However we have had some great times.  My dad came and helped Dwayne and I finish a bathroom in our basement.  It was fun to spend the time with him and learn what he has always done for us.  It turned out great and I am glad we were able to do it.

In October we went to Disneyland with Jennifer and her family.  We had such a great time even though it was SO BUSY!!!!  The new cars land it a lot of fun!

My mom celebrated her 4 year anniversary of her new Kidney....even though she did not remember the day until I called to wish her a happy anniversary.

In October Suzzanne and Alexis flew up and we went to Witchpalooza at Garner Village.  We all dressed up and went to the dinner show.  We had so much fun and laughed way too much.  Especially at my mom who could not clap on beat for nothing and then she started to dance with the entertainment.  I think Alexis and Brianna were going to die of embarrassment!  When they were here Suzzanne also requested we do one of our famous "fun Friday's".  We went to Boondocks and again laughed way too much and had such a great time.  Let's just say that there were mustaches involved and lots of pictures.

Fun Friday's have been something that we have started this year with Brianna, Bridger and Alexis L where we have gone swimming, bowling, get air and anything else we can think of.  It has been so much fun to get closer to our nieces and nephews and again - we laugh way too much!

When the Hadley family was here this summer we also did a lot with them including our "fun Friday" stuff.  We had so much fun and took some great pictures.  We miss having them around so we took full advantage of the time we had with them.

We spent Thanksgiving with the Johns family.  It was very nice and we had great company.

I really miss my parents who are in Vegas for the winter.  It is so hard to not just jump in my car and go and see them.  This year has been really hard in that my mom had her knee replace and my dad had to have surgery twice on his knee.  I hate worrying about them.

Angels

Over the last couple weeks we have had to cope (if that is what you call we are doing - sometimes I wonder?!?!) with a lot of different emotions. I have found that through out this time we have had a lot of Angels in our corner who have cried for us and with us, prayed for us, been there with a hug for us and just loved us. Today I found the following story in a talk by President Uchtdorf and I truly believe that these Angels who have been there for us are acting as Christs hands in helping us during this time.

"A story is told that during the bombing of a city in World War II, a large statue of Jesus Christ was severely damaged. When the townspeople found the statue among the rubble, they mourned because it had been a beloved symbol of their faith and of God’s presence in their lives.

Experts were able to repair most of the statue, but its hands had been damaged so severely that they could not be restored. Some suggested that they hire a sculptor to make new hands, but others wanted to leave it as it was—a permanent reminder of the tragedy of war.

Ultimately, the statue remained without hands.


However, the people of the city added on the base of the statue of Jesus Christ a sign with these words:


“You are my hands.”

If you are one of the "hands" that has been there for us, thank you! We feel your love and your prayers and know that you deeply care about us.

We don't know what lays ahead for us but I do know this - I AM ONE LUCKY GIRL. I have an amazing husband that is there for me and that I know loves me. We are going to be celebrating our 6th (holy cow) anniversary this summer and I cannot believe how fast the time has gone! I feel that everyday, even with our trials, our marriage gets better and better and my love for him grows stronger. I have set a goal for myself and that is everyday to make him laugh, not just smile but to laugh and so far I think I am doing pretty good.

Here is to keeping our eye on the prize with positive thoughts and hoping for a future that is even better than the past!

Faith

"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. … If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." - Gordon B. Hinckley. I needed this today!

Sometimes you just need to cry...

I have done that a lot lately, sometimes I feel like my heart is so broken that I don't think it will ever mend. I am sad and there is no other way to say it. Tonight I came across a song from Hilary Weeks that I think sums it up best (check out youtube and hear her sing it - AMAZING!!!).

Just let Me cry.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
We’re not just tossed by the wind,
or left in the hands of fate.
But sometimes life sends a storm that’s unexpected.
And we’re forced to face our deepest pain.
When I feel the heartache begin to pull me under...
I dig my heels in deep,
and I fight to keep my ground.
Still, at times the hurt inside grows stronger.
And there’s nothing I can do but let out...

Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry.
Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

When I agreed that God could put this heart inside me.
I understood that there would be a chance that it would break.
But I know He knows exactly how I’m feeling...
And I know in time He’ll take the pain away.

But for now...
Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel isn’t going away today.

Just let me cry.
Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

I have felt joy,
the kind that makes my heart want to sing.
And so my tears are not a surrender,
I’ll feel that way again.

But for now...
For this moment...
Just let me cry.

I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel.
Isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry.

Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

So, I know that it is ok to cry, I know that it is ok to be sad, I know that is ok to not be strong all the time that life is hard and that trials are a part of our own journey...but I also know that our Heavenly Father loves us he is there listening and understands what is in every tear that falls. This life is a test.....Faith in God includes faith in His timing.